Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
