So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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