Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
