so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
