yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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