sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
