Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
