I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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