come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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