sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
