Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
