Having a random hookup so left but love u
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is my gift to your gina
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
