Where is the hickey?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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