how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
