We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
