I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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