just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
