When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
