There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
