Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
id be glad to
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
