i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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