they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I enjoy the company of your penis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
