so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
