Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
