A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
