i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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