why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My life is pants optional.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
