why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
