Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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