ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
