Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
