so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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