Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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