they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
