woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have post one night stand depression
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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