Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
