Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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