is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
