I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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