O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
