you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
