Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There are leaves in my underwear?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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