2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
