Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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