i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
