you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
