Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
