sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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