what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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