But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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