P.S. I can't hear my feet
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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