oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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