I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
